Nathan's latest video to 'rock out' on" is Psy's  gangnam style vid is  a "Classic"  (very evident)

KIM does not acknowledge my existance and  completely stays away from home and children  and me more frequently. Mom Off the medications I am desperately holding on ( to what ?)

I just keep "keeping on" , life goes on (...)

 Mom says " all is lost"  ," go to holland"  . we're DONE .

What now ?

How much can  I take(...) , more than I thought I could ?.

The hope for a "normal life" is a distant memory .

Decisiontime is coming soon. (ugh)

My brain is completely fried .




 

March 22

Short .

 Mom is improving herself and reinventing herself  as well , refreshing.

Children need attention to focus in school on tasks at hand, 2nd detention for KT , ugh, incomplete wk(...)
Therefore  I am contemplating a plethora of activities at home : I have an  immediate opening for a dishwasher and laundry help and need two sous-chefs , I add as I see fit.

Nathan is a work in progress , detailed focused attention  needed most of the time, naming all activities , choicers and the right frustrationlevels for him to initiate speechdevelopment...not the easiest of tasks.

Garden is beginning to sprout little seedlings everywhere and thinning out is called for. Joy!
(Dankjewel Mam voor de Oranjebandzaden met bloemen en Radijs . Ik kijk uit naar tante post hoor)

Have with moms help started gathering swingsetmaterials /climbing wall  holds to construct a Playset with the heavy lumber from roadsidetreasure .  Not sure if I can wear a carpenters hat , but Mom seems to think  I can do just about  everything  (...) Love ya honey.
Whatever we come up with will look FAB!

The Joy of children should not be underestimated , it is soo healthy in so many ways, agree?

The sandbox is getting good use with all children and is favored for it's shady location under a permanent Umbrella , allowing partial morning sun and Raincoverage and easy access to the strawberries , raspberry and blackberrybushes and herbgarden . Playing and snacking on the right "munchies" comes natural then.

Garden

After digging around  in my Garden and digging up my everbearing strawberry I was pleased to find out the five  planted plants had produced new sprouts and now alltogether we  have a border of thirty plants.

 Without having to sow for next year ( and harvesting seedpods for my sweet Basil all came back fourfold , I'll be the proud owner of eighty  -sweet- basilplants . A favorite staple in our kitchen .

To make the garden more inviting there's also five welcome signs with various insect displayed .

Marigolds are still under greenhouse conditions..it can still be cold mornings .cheap insectcontrol.

more later , the general is shouting directions , zero patience seems to be the norm lately , ugh.

What was I thinking here ?

@ Panama city Fl  "Hidden beach"

New developments

yeey , Finally,

Coming back from being religious not so long ago I have found myself crashing church today and openly oppose anyones conviction there . As a first offensive a great start , more to come i am sure.Anti theist -style
Today at Calvary church the reverend there professed anyone with a secular worldview to be suffering from "spiritual alzheimers" .This poor man is obviously misguided , chooses his words poorly and is loosing his flock rapidly . Allready atheistic regarding all other religions calvary church should let the last religion held on to go as well. The time is ripe.
Supposedly without the bible humanity has no morality or guidance towards inspired living and respect for eachother ?.. (really)
I felt like standing up in protest but with wife and kids there quickly calmed down and stayed put.

Christopher Hitchens as anti - theist was instrumental for setting the tone in wich progress however small can occur to rid this world of its superstition(-s) and " quote Hitchens: "dissassociate faith from virtue"
Atheist worldwide should more agressively campaign with reason for a secular world .Come crash a church with me and aspire to ask for and use the microphone for 5 minutes. (grin )
@ home I am reading up on the spouses BPD symptoms and tolerance /anger issues My wife Kim is still quite adamantly devoutly religious and sees my personal development to anti theism with everchanging eyes . With her leaving us alone so frequently taking care of my family has  now become my chief priority , including providing a framework in wich to see the world around us for my little ones... growing up not having to worry about "spaghettimonsters in the sky" should feel very refreshing to my children Catherine and Gregory .
Allowing my 2 yr old Nathaniel to play sundays at church may prove to be very therapeutic for him and teach him a miryad of social skills needed .
I think next week i'll be early for church and enjoy my coffee and donut while my little ones "play with the misguided " but happy children .
I aspire  to touch a soul  or two ( in a good way) here and there . Avoiding the entrenched I track down the youngest doubters in the crowd feeling the future belongs more to them . Our youth is  for all good purposes my new audience to adress .
I wished I had a hundred terabyte or more to store away my atheistic aspirations .Futuremusic you will agree.Plans in the making (...)
Is anyone outhere interested in a more efficient approach towards a less extreme future ? My guess is there are millions upon millions waiting to be heard here that could use a voice  . All of America's "religious posing" will clearly have to be adressed soon .  I have ideas waiting to be used or at least to be developed in theory , finetuned by fieldtesting  and  then stored on disc and used .
Being the only counterweight in church today felt "awkward but comfortable",does that make sense to anyone? Amaaazing how people can call themselves "believers' still  .It really defies reason.


your thoughts on ignostu@gmail.com , please ?

Andrew

Bugses

the last months we have been plagued by a serious german cockrachinfestation . Bugsprays over the counter at various commercial places did not work or just killed the ones that where visible allowing the remaining population to build up an immunity and come back two weeks later in force ! Man do these critters leave behind a smell!!
Recently I have adopted Boric Acid as nmy ally against these little critters and have from day one to another seen a great many belly up ( mostly adults). Boric acid clings to their little wriggly paws and antennae and while grooming they ingest the stuff allowing their gut to distend and not allow them to feed on any more food ( YESSSSS) In addition to that I have become quite ANAL in my cleaning methods and have limited wateraccess in my house and caulked every crack and crevice and keep my garbagecan cleaner than my sink.
From many sources i hear that it takes about two weeks to kill pretty much all of them but the boric acid when kept dry is effective many months after that ( some say six months , yeey!)
I wonder if when I vacuum I should use it in a roomdeodorizingpowder and not only get my house dustfree but also provide the necessary bugcontrol at the same time (...)talk about cheap and friendly pestcontrol...
as far as toxicity it is about as toxic as tablesalt so I do not have to worry about hurting myself or my family . Application of it of course is done late at night when the house is undisturbed ( puffs of powder need to completely settle down !!)
I'll keep you informed about getting this under control, sofar ,three days in they're still dying in the hundreds around the house, he he . The airquality shows improvement allready and surfaces now stay clean !
Springcleaning in about two weeks should get rid of most of the smell , i am still working on a way to eliminate bacterial odor from their droppings.
Send me something to ignostu@gmail.com with any bright and cheap ideas for a surefire antibacterial solution .
After all is said and done i want to purchase neemoil to treat the house w as deterrent to bugs .( supposedly good for many purposes, research it!!)

ilse: helllooo downthere...

ilse